It's that time of year my friends!
"Jen, do you mean it's time for apple picking, leaf peepin' and wearing cozy sweaters and our tall boots?"
NO!! I mean it's time to bust out the SEXY Halloween costumes!
Last year I put together a pretty comprehensive study (by genre) of the disturbing sexy costumes ladies have to choose from out there. (Read that post here.)
And by "have to choose from" I mean "shouldn't choose from."
Anyway, here we are in 2015 and sexy costumes are here to stay. There is even a market for sexy CHILD costumes.
Yes you heard me right.
Check out sexy Cleopatra and sexy police girl from Party City's Girls Costume collection (yes, the one that mom wrote a letter about). Then under that, a couple of homemade winners: sexy baby stripper and sexy Vivian the prostitute from "Pretty Woman" (both photos from dose.com). Mon dieu!
Are you scared? You should be.
OK on to adults, where it really gets weird. Here are the 2015 candidates for inclusion in my "Sexy Halloween costumes have gone to far" hall of fame:
1) Sexy Donald Trump. Because who doesn't want to dress up as a gross looking old man who hates women, immigrants and poor people! Not sure what the hot pants represent here, but it's disturbing imagery.
2) Sexy Pizza Rat. Pizza Rat!! He made it big time this year. Let's celebrate his super-rat strength by sexing him up! I'll give Yandy credit on this one for having a sense of humor.
3) Sexy Cecil the Lion. This one's in bad taste, no? This is like dressing up as a murder victim; and not just dressing up, but sexualizing him or her. That wouldn't be acceptable would it? Jeesh. RIP Cecil. F&cking dentist.
4) Sexy Katniss Everdeen. OK so this one's a toss up. Katniss is - in and of herself - sexy. That bodysuit is somewhat sexy. But here's where we veer off into whore-town: just wearing the bodysuit itself with a pair of sexy boots is not dressing as Katniss. You just went into the store and picked the most form-fitting outfit you could find so you could show off your bod. Where's your quiver? Where are your boots for trekking through the forest offing dudes? Psschhhffff.
5) Sexy Minion. Another kid character gone wrong. I don't even have the energy to say any more about this, except "Put some pants on!"
There you have it. Go forth and choose your costume wisely...or you could find your face on this list next year.
Happy Halloween y'all!
Images from Yandy.com, partycity.com, dose.com, cosmopolitan.com and funtober.com.