Halloween is coming up and you know what that means: time to break out the sexy costumes! It's that time of the year when seemingly normal girls feel obligated to show some skin.
How and when did this happen? Has it always been this way? When did girls go from wanting to dress up as something or someone else to wanting to dress up as the ho'ed out version of something or someone else?
Need proof? Here are some seemingly innocent -- some traditional and some more topical -- Halloween costume ideas that have been inexplicably sexed up for and by women:
Sexy horror movie characters: Freddy Kruger from "A Nightmare on Elm Street," Chucky from "Child's Play" and Leatherface from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Might I add that all three of these characters are not only homicidal maniacs but also quite hideous looking in their respective movies:
Sexy 80s movie stars: BeetleJuice, a Ghostbuster and The Terminator. Now this is just making me mad. You could totally dress as any of these characters (the right way) and look fun and adorable. But this??:
Sexy Star Wars Characters: sexy Boba Fett, sexy Stormtrooper and sexy Yoda. Now, if y'all are into "Star Wars" and want to look sexy, why not choose to dress as Princess Leia in her hot gold bikini? That's actually a "thing," it is in fact inherently "sexy" and FYI guys love it. Yoda must be rolling over in his grave over this:
This might be one of the more disturbing categories. There must be some sort of psychology behind choosing a beloved children's character or cartoon and turning it trashy. Mon dieu.
Here we have sexy Where's Waldo, sexy Cat in the Hat and the oh-so-sexy Hamburglar:
And for homemade costumes, sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, sexy Thing 1 and Thing 2 and sexy Care Bears:
Put some pants on ladies!
Sexy food. Yup, you heard it here. Here's sexy watermelon, sexy french fries, sexy pizza and my personal favorite, sexy banana:
And can't forget the homemade costumes. Here is sexy cereal and sexy Coors Light:
I've never seen such a sexy leprechaun in my life.
There are some animal costumes that have paved the way for the sexy trend, such as cats, bunnies and tigers, but have you ever imagined these? Sexy shark, sexy penguin, sexy squid and sexy sock monkey:
There you have it. If you need me, you'll find me in line waiting to buy my sexy pizza costume while eating pizza. Does that blow your mind or what?