10 ways to make the Oscars more exciting

Photo from oscar.go.com

Photo from oscar.go.com

We all love movies. We love seeing our favorite actors and actresses dive into characters and scripts so completely they transport you to another world. 

We want to love the Oscars too. We really do. We hear the nominations and promise ourselves we'll see ALL the movies before Oscar night! 

But shit happens. You can't get away to the movie theater more than once in a blue moon - foregoing electronic devices...and kids...and work...and important TV on your DVR - to actually see the movies.  

So then the question becomes - if we didn't see the movies who cares about watching the awards show about said movies? And don't even talk to me about sitting through a 3+ hour show of technical awards we don't care about. 

Watching The Academy Awards has become "meh" to most people. The Red Carpet is the funnest part and even that is somewhat lackluster since we've just watched the SAG awards and the Golden Globes earlier in the season. How many fancy dresses and stupid questions can regular people really tolerate?

But as always, I'm here to help. Listen up movie people, here are 10 relatively simple ways the movie industry and "The Academy" could make the Oscars more exciting and attract more viewers:

1. Separate out the technical awards from the acting, writing and directing awards. This has been said time and time again. Yes, we know the editors, sound mixers and costumers are just as important to the success of a film as the actors, but we still don't want to watch randoms get awards and give speeches for 3 long hours while we wait for the real deal. Get to the good stuff!

Photo from chron.com

Photo from chron.com

2. Let us hear the speeches! Once you cut out all of the boring categories and the agonizing list of thank yous that go with them, it frees up extra time for our favorite actors, actresses, directors and writers to give impactful, moving or funny speeches without being cut off. Hearing the speeches (from people we actually know) is one of the funnest parts of watching the show.

Photo from caranddriver.com

Photo from caranddriver.com

3.  Sell pricey ad space. Take a cue from the Super Bowl and make the whole broadcast something to look forward to! People will have watch parties not just for the celebs but to see the commercials too. For people who hate sports (um, like people who like artsy movies), this could be their Super Bowl.

4. Merchandise this thing. Make people nostalgic. Create associated Oscar history board games, trivia games and even drinking games. Build up the momentum so the Academy Awards is the biggest, most historic movie event of the year for everyone, no matter how many of the movies they've seen.

5. Tina and Amy! Always have Tina Fey and Amy Poehler host. Always. That is all I have to say about that.

Photo from elle.com

Photo from elle.com

6. Booze. Take a page from the Golden Globes and let the celebs drink. Why so stuffy, Oscars? There's so much more opportunity for surprises when your guests are properly lubricated. That creates water cooler talk in offices across the country. That's gold.  

photo from learningtoliftoff.com

photo from learningtoliftoff.com

7. Start the show earlier. Take another cue from the Super Bowl on this one. Starting the show at 8:30 pm ET limits who will even attempt to watch. It just feels late. Movies are for all ages. You can't make it a family affair if half your group has to go to bed one hour in.

8. Involve America! Live stream the best Oscar parties at regular people's houses across the country. Just go on Pinterest and you will see all the creative party ideas regular people are coming up with. Share the excitement!

Photo from abc7.com

Photo from abc7.com

9. Get rid of some of the fluff. Get rid of the opening "number." I love you NPH but this isn't the Tony's. And save the Academy President's speech for the website.

10. Give us the movies! And last but not least: release the best picture nominees to Pay-Per-View or On Demand so we can rent and watch the damn things at home. Do they know how many people would watch every single movie if we didn't have to haul ass to the movie theater? I suspect a lot. And people being knowledgeable about the nominated movies and actors will...wait for it...increase the viewership of the Academy Awards! Movie people make more money, TV people make more money, advertisers spend (and make) more money, us regular folks have more fun and watch more flicks - everyone wins.

Who's with me?

“Everything I learned, I learned from the movies.” 
― Audrey Hepburn