I have to tell you something. And you're not going to like it.
You're getting older.
I'm serious. It's happening. It's not just you, it's me too.
Don't freak out. Sure, there's a lot of shitty stuff about getting older. The slow metabolism, the bad memory, the aches and pains. (Read my first post diving into this topic here.)
But there are some perks about getting more "mature" (I've written about that too). We start to realize that things we thought we wanted when we were younger aren't as important any more. Or maybe things we were afraid of or intimidated by no longer hold us hostage. If there were a benefit of getting older, this is probably it. We are bolder, more direct, less afraid and less self-conscious.
I am a forty-bleep year old. and I've officially arrived at a new stage of this thing called life. It's called the "I don't give a fuck" stage.
That's right. "I don't give a fuck." It's a blessing and a curse.
I'm sure you've seen this in the wild. You have memories of your parents or grandparents wearing comfortable (read: ugly) shoes and funny hats while yelling at the neighbors to get off their lawn...or turn the music down. They dropped their opinion in your lap and left with a "So there!" They didn't give a fuck what anyone thought - they just did what they wanted, when they wanted. I remember being horrified and embarrassed and thought I would never recover.
Well, I did and now it's my turn. Let's explore the things that I no longer give a fuck about:
1) I don't give a fuck about everyone liking me.
This is a relief. Making sure everyone liked me used to (and if I'm being honest, still sometimes creeps in) give me the worst anxiety. The slight idea that I pissed someone off or did something to offend someone would put me into a tailspin. No more! You could do everyone exactly right and be the quietest, most (pretend) non-opinionated person on the planet and someone could still not like you. So just be you and whoever doesn't like it can screw. You probably don't like them either.
2) I don't give a fuck about going out all the time.
I'm fuckin' tired y'all. Sure a nice dinner or a girls' night out is fun, but you know what else is fun? Putting on your PJs and eating pizza curled up on the couch with your dog. Once upon a time I had terrible FOMO when I stayed in and knew other people are out having fun. Lately? I love staying in, I relish my alone time and I save up my energy for things that are actually worth me dragging my sorry ass out.
3) I don't give a fuck about going out of the house looking perfect.
Are you one of those people who is obsessive about leaving the house looking put together - makeup on, hair done, some kind of cute outfit on? That was me too. No sweats or messy hair for this girl! But lately? Fuck it. Sometimes I am tired. Sometimes I am just plain ole lazy. But most times I just don’t care what people think. I gotta get coffee for survival and if I'm in my pajamas so be it. As long as you brush your teeth, get out there! Be proud of what you look like with or without make-up or a perfectly put-together outfit.
4) I don't give a fuck about telling people what I really think or want (see also #1).
I've said this before: always being nice is bad for your health. Holding things back causes stress, which can cause all kinds of other ailments. Let it all out girl! Be honest and say your peace, even if it isn't what they want to hear. It feels good to open your mouth and say what you want or think, doesn't it? To tell people what's what? To argue a point? To speak your mind? To get the damn table you want? Hell to the yes.
5) I don't give a fuck about being skinny.
OK, OK, so yes, I'd like to be skinnier, but for me that's not ever going to be "skinny." I'm always going to have a little more cushioning than the average bear. I love food too much and that's not changing. And being "skinny" doesn't make you happy. Or more successful. Nope. It just makes you hungrier. Being healthy and strong is a better goal.
6) I don't give a fuck about hiding my political and religious beliefs.
I'm finally there. I'm done hiding my true self because I'm afraid who I'm with or who I like won't agree or will judge me for it. I will stand for and defend what I believe in, even if you disagree. I'm a flaming liberal and if you can't handle that then fuck off. I say let it all hang out.
7) I don't give a fuck about Millennials.
I'm sorry Millennials, but I don't give a fuck that you need constant reassurance, or that you can't be on time, or that you can't pay attention. In the real world you suck it up because you are an adult and need to have a job and be responsible along with the rest of us. Do what your supposed to do and shut up about it.
8) I don't give a fuck about suffering for beauty or fashion.
I don't give a fuck about getting the perfect tan, wearing the highest heels, squeezing myself into uncomfortable clothes. Health and comfort have moved up the list of priorities. I used to bake in the sun like it was my job. But once you've had bits of you cut off by the dermatologist you start to rethink everything. Don't get me wrong, I still care about looking good, but there are ways to achieve this without any pain or long term consequences.
9) I don't give a fuck about always following the rules.
Life's too short to always play by the rules. Take a short cut. Don't always do what you're supposed to do. I also don't give a fuck about "traditions" or "supposed tos" or the milestones everyone thinks you "have" to do in life by a certain time. I'm way past all that. Everyone is different. No one path is the right path to happiness for everyone.
10) I don't give a fuck about portraying myself just one certain way.
I am unique. I am diverse. Sometimes I'm a contradiction. I like this today or maybe that tomorrow. There's no sense chaining yourself to one thing or one way. Eat, read, watch, listen to and wear what makes you happy, even if you poo-poo-ed it back in your 20s or 30s. Who gives a fuck what people think? You do you. I'll be over here doing me.
I've just painted a fabulous picture of myself, don't you think?
I don't give a fuck.