Every day words that make us cringe...or giggle

(c) dolgachov www.fotosearch.com

(c) dolgachov www.fotosearch.com

What is it about some words? Some make us cringe when we hear them because they take us somewhere unintended. Others put a big stupid grin on our face, because we are all immature children at heart. Other words or phrases are just so douchey and overused they make you think bad things about the person saying them. 

For instance:

When you hear these seemingly innocuous words all you want to do is giggle and lay down "that's what he/she said" comebacks (well, that's my fave anyway):

"Moist"
"Bulge"
"Stool"
"Cream"
"Wood"
"Log"
"Package"
"I'm coming"
"Tea bag"

Is it possible to hear words like these and NOT think about dirty stuff? Or do I have a particularly dirty mind?? When someone says "Push in your stool" or "This package is bulging" or anything about "wood," don't you just want to laugh in their face? Please tell me it's not just me.

Then there are words that just sound...icky:

"Panties" (especially "moist panties" - ewwwwww) 
"Panty hose"
"Pubescent" (is this where "pubes" originated from??)
"Pimple"
"Rubbers"
"Towelette" (this one gets a bad rep because of "moist" too)
"Pet peeve" ("peeve" = eww)

When these words enter your ears, you involuntarily cringe or flinch as if someone just dropped a pair of moist panties in your lap.

Sometimes the word or phrase is slang that is overused, douchey or just annoying AF:

"Bestie"
"Foodie"
"Oaky"
"Tween"
"Bae" and "Boo"
"Sunday Funday"
"Selfie"
"Baby bump"
"What happens in Vegas..."f
"Cray"

When your 70-year old parents start using these words, you know they have to go away (the words, not the parents).

So just stop. Listen to me: "Sunday Funday" is NOT FUN.  No, you are not a "foodie" just because you like to eat food. Enough!

Oh and to make matters worse, there are words you hear exclusively at work that make you want to jump out of the nearest window:

"Stakeholders"
"Presser" (it's a press release - don't be a douche)
"Takeaway"
"Blowback"
"Teachable moment" 
"Out of pocket"
"Let's take this offline"
"Circle back"

Just about all of these make me want to puke. Mostly because...it's work, ya know? Also blowhard suck-ups use these words to try to sound smart and get promotions they don't deserve. It's enough to make you want to drive for Uber full time. 

Oh, and P.S. here is literally the most incorrectly used word of all time:

"Literally"

When someone says to you "I'm literally going to explode into a million pieces" or "I'm literally dying," question everything you know about that person. And then push her into a bush.

Words matter friends. Watch yourselves!

What words or phrases drive YOU crazy? I want to hear them!