I Want to Be a Guy. Seriously.

This is seth rogen from the movie "Neighbors." He is married to Rose Byrne in this movie. WTF? (Photo from dailymail.co.uk)

This is seth rogen from the movie "Neighbors." He is married to Rose Byrne in this movie. WTF? (Photo from dailymail.co.uk)

Two words: Dad Bod.

Seriously? Guys are now being celebrated for having beer bellies and being lazy? This is the epitome of unfair. 

I have both of those things and I don't think anyone thinks it's positive!

In fact, I know quite a few dudes who have dad bods and STILL shame girls who are even the slightest bit overweight. What a sexist, double standard! I hate the whole "dad bod" conversation. 

I actually could care less if a guy has a dad bod. You know why? Because a guy's body is pretty low on the list of what I look for in a significant other. I look for things like brains, sense of humor, good shoes, does he have all his teeth.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Wouldn't it be so much easier to be a guy ladies? Here are some other reasons:

1. We could get dressed for any event, whether it's dinner, work, a party, a date, whatever, by putting on a shirt, a pair of pants/shorts and choosing between five pairs of shoes. That's it.

2. No baby showers. No bridal showers. No offense ladies, but these are not fun.

3. We could spend our money on fun stuff like toys and electronics and trips instead of shoes, purses, make-up, clothes and jewelry. A big drain on the budget and those things that make #1 all the more difficult.

4. No Aunt Flow. No Shark Week. No Curse. This could be the only thing on this list because it's a big one. Guys go through puberty growing creepy mustaches and masturbating all over their rooms. Girls are alerted to puberty by BLEEDING. And it doesn't stop for 30+ years whether or not we decide to procreate.

5. We'd make more money! Women still only make $0.85 to men's $1.00 and are "only 14.6 percent of executive officers, 8.1 percent of top earners, and 4.6 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs." WTF? (Read more from AmericanProgress.org here.)

6. We could walk around alone at night and not have a legit fear of being kidnapped, raped or murdered. Do guys have to walk with their keys clutched in their fists like a shiv? I don't think so. 

7. We wouldn't be leered at by creepy old men on a daily basis.

8. We could have a Dad Bod and society would think it's sexy and fabulous. (It's so unfair I had to say it again. We've come full circle.)


(Read more about Dad Bod from Time Magazine here.)