A female perspective on the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight

Photo courtesy of ivbpn.com

Photo courtesy of ivbpn.com

You'd have to be living in cave not to know about the big fight that took place this past weekend. Floyd Mayweather, Jr., the undefeated welterweight champion of the whole wide world from the U.S. versus the challenger Manny Pacquiao from the Philippines.

Mayweather is known for being an asshole, but had not been defeated in 47 matches. Pacquiao was known as the best shot of taking him down. From what I can surmise, this is the gist of what was interesting about this whole event. 

I had no interest in watching this fight. I didn't care who was playing/fighting (whatever) and I didn't care who won. I don't want to watch people beat each other up. I don't care for boxing unless it's the U.S. vs. U.S.S.R. and it's 1985.

Here's the good and the bad from Saturday night from the perspective of a girl who could give two shits about any of it.

The good

The celebs. This kind of event is always good for celeb sightings, the pinnacle being Mr. Tom Brady - who hopped on his private jet from the Derby to be ringside. That made the whole event for me. Other interesting sightings: Robert DeNiro, Jay-Z and Beyonce (with her tits out), Ben Affleck, Mark Wahlberg (who thinks he's really a boxer), Denzel Washington (looking creepy), Michael Keaton, Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi (front row ballers), Mike Tyson and of course, Donald Trump. (Note: I really dislike Trump but I included this pic because his wife has a look like "save me" and it made me laugh.)

The entourages. This was the best part! I'm still thinking about why the Burger King was there. (Upon further research it seems BK paid Mayweather $1M to let the King walk in with him. That's a lot of chicken fries.) 

And Jimmy Kimmel? Dressed like Justin Bieber dressed like RUN DMC walking out with Pacquiao, then stopping to take a selfie? That might be the best thing that happens all year.

Michael Buffer. I am embarrassed to say I did not know this was the guy that said "let's get ready to rumble" or that it went with boxing. So that was cool.

The good vs. evil aspect. Everyone loves a battle between a bad guy and a good guy underdog. Is there any better match-up in sports?

Mayweather has gained a rep for being an arrogant, Bieber-lovin' wife-beatin' creep. Did you know he managed to deny press access to two female sports reporters who were critical of his domestic violence history? Yup, that happened. Friday. (Read more here.). 

Pacquiao, on the other hand, looks like a smiley cherub you could put in your pocket. In the Philippines Pacquiao is - according to nytimes.com - "a singer, professional basketball player, congressman and future presidential prospect." Wow. That's pretty impressive. Meanwhile, Mayweather refers to himself as "TBE" (stands for "the best ever"), yet gets booed in his own country. Go Pacquiao.

The Mayweather clan. These cats are hysterical. Here's an example:

The bad

The fight itself. I'm no expert, but that was 12 rounds of A WASTE OF OUR TIME. Did I want to see someone's nose get broken, or eye swelled shut, or stumbling around in a stupor trying to get back up? Um, yes! I may be a girl but I definitely know the difference between a competitive sporting event and an aggravating snoozer.

Photo courtesy of deadline.com

Photo courtesy of deadline.com

The price. $100?? Seriously? I could buy four pairs of shoes at TJ Maxx with $100! (Yes, ladies, I'm not joking. I'm that good.)

Devil (Photo courtesy of huffpo)

Devil (Photo courtesy of huffpo)

There are pretty significant prizes for both fighters, no matter who wins. Does anyone else find this troubling? The champion and the challenger both go into this thing knowing they will get tons of money. 60% of $300 million for Mayweather (win or lose); the rest to the challenger. Seems to me you wouldn't risk having your face rearranged if you knew you're making a big pay day either way, no? Or is that too much logic to expect from this sport? 

The good guy lost. That doesn't happen in the movie! I wanted a happy ending, dammit! "If I can change, and you can change, then everybody can change!"

OK that's all I have to say.