This is my dog Jessie Belle the day I adopted her:
She is my baby. My buddy. My bodyguard.
It's obviously nothing like having a real child, but it's still a pain in the ass, er, I mean, a joy and a privilege. I worry about her. I talk to her. I give her loads of attention. I remind her to eat her breakfast (what kind of dog doesn't want to eat). She's like a little person. And she makes me laugh, which is a bonus.
Here's a little about what makes JB special:
1. She's part Jack Russell, part deer, part tiger.
2. She a hider. Under the coffee table and especially under the bed. I always have a good laugh when she tries to hide under other people's coffee tables....and they only have a two inch clearance from the floor. She gets so confused. (I am evil.)
3. She doesn't know how to fetch. Isn't that in the "How to be a Dog" handbook? Can I get a refund?
4. She is finicky about what and when she'll eat - like a cat. She knows "go eat your breakfast" and will sulk back to her dish when I tell her to, but she'll just pretend to eat and then hide under the coffee table.
5. She lets me put a costume on her, but she goes catatonic while she's in it. Her look here says: "I want to stab you in the throat." Adorable.
6. She loves most people...until they come into my apartment. She bites feet. I have no idea what it means, but folks don't seem to like it.
7. She likes to hug and she likes to cuddle, but she has DBI (that's distorted body image for the 1% of the population who don't have it); she thinks she's a tiny Jack Russell and doesn't realize her legs are 8 feet long.
8. Speaking of that, she has the LONGEST legs ever (her momma was a gazelle). And she uses them to smack me in the face and poke me in the ribs/boobs/family jewels.
9. She can extricate every squeaker from a toy in 10 minutes flat. Does she have special tools? It's uncanny. Note to self: don't buy any more toys.
10. The most adorable thing ever: she knows all of her commands, but sometimes when she's really excited, she'll launch into one trick after another until she does every one in her repertoire. She gets treats either way. She's no dumby.
This one's for you JB. You light up my life.