Is it just me or was this episode highly entertaining?
From the whipped cream to the sexy bouncy house to the puking to the man tears - a jam-packed episode of The Bachelor any way you look at it!
We started out where we ended last week: Nick sent Liz packing then dropped the bomb that he and she had sexy time at Jade and Tanner's wedding - the most non-dramatic drama perhaps ever.
Here's the best and worst of Episode 3:
1. Vanessa's 1-on-1 date
This is why we watch this show, am I right? This date was adorable from start to finish. Nick and Vanessa have obvious chemistry. And Vanessa's hair? Gorgeous! I could watch it floating around in space all damn day. Watching Nick look at her with goo-goo eyes while she was puking into a barf bag was very endearing. Don't fuck this up Nick!
2. The Backstreet Boys
This date was cheesy but it was nice to see these guys get a gig. They've still got some moves left! I'm sure there were some ladies in Bachelor Nation who were dancing all over their living rooms. Backstreet's back alright!
3. Corinne's Nanny
Raquel is gonna get a big raise once she figures out nannying for a 24 year old isn't a "thing." This woman must be a saint - or clinically insane - to do Corinne's laundry and make her "cheese pasta" every day. I can barely suffer through watching her for an hour a week on TV.
4. Vanessa (she's so great she goes on here twice)
Finally, a smart girl who knows that it's not necessarily the fault of the chick throwing herself at the guy; no, no: it's the actions of the the guy the receiving end who can't seem to drag his penis away. If Nick can't resist Corinne's "charms" then he doesn't get the affections of one miss Vanessa, classiest woman to ever step foot onto this show. Gauntlet. Thrown. Have we ever seen a contestant call out the Bachelor like this before? I don't know but I love it. Nick: you're suspect.
5. The Rose Ceremony
Almost forgot about the RC! We got rid of some unidentifiable blonde women whose names I don't recall. That's always a good thing. I was a little sad to see Hailey go - but that bra dress made it pretty easy to get over it.
1. The faux Liz drama
I'm sorry but: who the fuck cares? They all came into this show knowing Nick was a man-whore. Who are these girls mad at? Liz is gone, get over it. Do y'all realize you still have a 24 year blonde running around in a trench coat with a can of Reddi-Wip in her pocket? Focus on that.
2. The track-and-field/hot tub date
Ugh, another stupid group date. And this one was a doozy: a) No one cares that Nick was a track and field star, including probably Nick. b) We feel sad that this is what Carl Lewis is up to. c) ABC didn't give the girls the appropriate head's up on what kind of supportive wear to bring (#saveastridsboobs). d) A hot tub? Really? Icky.
There's always (at least) one. A girl who can't handle the rules of the game. Who gets up into her head and can't get out. Will they ever learn? The WHINING. I can't take it!
I think of all the things she did in this episode, it was skipping the rose ceremony that was the most disrespectful. If I was her producer I would have stuck her hand in warm water, then walked her downstairs in wet undies. What a fucking immature brat. The Reddi-Wip and bouncy house aside - both mildly entertaining - this girl is there to stir things up and so far she's doing just that. I just hope Nick doesn't ruin his chances with someone cool because he likes Corinne's tits.
5. A pool party instead of a cocktail ceremony
Been there, done that. This one is getting old no?
MY FRONT RUNNERS
1. Vanessa: a no-brainer. This one is Nick's to lose.
2. Rachel: Nick still has his eye on her. Why? Because she is mature and secure and acts like herself no matter what nonsense is going on around her.
3. Danielle M.: I still like this girl. No drama. She stays in the top 4 until someone else bumps her off.
4. Raven: Some may put Danielle L. in this spot and sure, she and Nick have some mad chemistry. But Raven is up front and honest. She tells Nick where it's at and I like that. I think he does too.
See ya next week!