This episode took us to four parts of the country to visit four families, but all the drama was in Dallas. Jojo's family isn't buying what Ben (and ABC) are selling. This hometown visit drove Jojo's mom to drink...champagne...right from the bottle!
But we'll get there...
Ben meets Amanda on Laguna Beach in Cali. Amanda's choice of cold shoulder tops is a little precarious (and her denim panties too for that matter) and is hindering her ability to run without shit flying out. I know she loves those tops but invest in some straps girl. Mix it up.
Amanda introduces Ben to her kids. The kids look at the cameras like "What the fuck is going on here Mom? This is exploitative!"
Her kids are really cute. And Ben is pretty cute with them. It's all so CUTE.
Her top however, has got a life of it's own. It's very distracting.
They head to meet the family and it's relatively uneventful. Her dad comments that Ben looks like a "deer caught in headlights" with two kids nipping at the heels of his swingin' single life.
Does anyone really think Amanda has a chance?
Ben meets Lauren in Portland, Oregon and they immediately start feasting at the local food trucks. Afterwards Lauren surprises Ben with a trip to the "Whiskey Li-barry" (Seriously? People still mess that word up?). Upon seeing the "Whiskey Li-barry" Ben's reaction is..."Ooooh my gosh. You! This is unbelievable." I think he likes it.
Lauren and Ben are as cozy and cuddly as ever and I do believe if we stopped right now we could crown LB the winner. But we still have a ways to go. So let's meet the parents!
Ben meets "LoLo's" mom, dad, sister and brothers. They seem like a really nice, normal bunch. Lauren's sister of course has reservations and notes that Lauren hasn't even been single for a year. Lauren claims that she was "meant to meet Ben" and that "Ben's my person."
Sister decides to go straight to the source to find out if Ben feels the same way, and before he can get any words out he starts to cry. This of course endears him to her immediately cus girls are total suckers. And I have to say, if this dude doesn't pick Lauren after doing that to her sister, he's an evil monster.
Interestingly enough, the girl who has been the most confusing and vague has the most positive hometown date. Caila's parents are sweet, her town is lovely and she takes him on a kick ass date at a toy factory. They even give ABC the "An Officer and a Gentleman" reenactment they've been wanting to do for 20 seasons. Caila also finally opens up (not to Ben but to her dad) that she's fallen hard for Ben and that this is the real deal. It's a bit of a departure from her stance of "I don't know if I can love you" that we heard from her before, but OK. She's in it to win it I guess.
If I was a betting woman, I'd throw a little scratch on the possibility that ABC is doing everything in their power to poke holes in Jojo and Ben's relationship so they can make her the next Bachelorette, which - I could totally get behind - but not like this. The Chad roses and letter? C'mon! Total set up. They called that dude up and asked if he wanted to go on TV to fuck with Jojo. No doubt in my mind. Then I bet they riled up those brothers or put some bath salts in their scotch or something. It was a hot mess. The best part was the aforementioned mom hittin' the champs full tilt.
Jojo looks worried. Ben looks scared.
We find ourselves back at the Bachelor mansion. First to arrive is Jojo looking like a total smokeshow in a slinky red dress. Wowza. She's definitely getting a rose now.
And I'm right - roses go to Lauren, Caila and Jojo. Amanda is OUT.
After all this (and since perhaps the Bahamas) I'm not sure I'm on Team Ben anymore. I think he's letting ABC run right over him. I don't like how he dumped Amanda. I think he knew that he wasn't going to pick her (duh, he's going to pick Lauren), yet went to meet her kids anyway. It's selfish, and I thought he was better than that.
And I didn't like his short shorts either.
Maybe he realized his mistake though; at the end of this episode he's so choked up he's unable to give his interview. You deserve that one pal.
The scenes for the next two episodes show Ben telling two women he loves them. Yi-yi-YIKES. That's not going to go over well. He's going to get a pan to the face by the end of this thing.
See ya next week where all your fantasies will come true (not really).