Well, that was a doozy. Most dramatic finale ever? Not sure about that, but it did have its moments. There were - of course - lots of tears and angst as well as questions; there were also signs of true happiness from our Bachelorette and her chosen one. Congrats to Shawn for getting the girl...finally.
Nick, however: tough break my friend. On one hand, he was very brave to do this again, just one year after getting his heart broken by Andi. On the other, what kind of masochist puts themselves in this position again? Someone who wants to be on TV methinks. There's no other explanation.
Let's try to get through this recap quick, since it was mostly filler:
Meet the Parents Round 1: Nick
ABC spares no expense and flies everyone to….Malibu?? WTF? Juan Pablo went to South Korea, Vietnam, New Zealand and St. Lucia. Kaitlyn goes to NYC, Ireland and Utah, then back to California. Seems like she got gypped.
Anyway, she meets up with the fam in Malibu, chats with her sister and two sets of parents, and drops the bomb that Nick is one of the final two. As connoisseurs of The Bachelor, they know exactly who Nick is and, like the rest of the world, don’t care for him. She pleads with them to have an open mind because she thinks he’s groovy and they have a powerful connection. She also tells them about giving Nick her flower and how she had to tell Shawn aboot it. Oh boy, setting Nick up for failure right off the bat, eh? (Notice my Canadian accent?)
Nick shows up and I want to smack him in the head for his choice of outfit. Dude, give it a little effort! He’s wearing dark skinny jeans, untied sneakers, a t-shirt and an open oxford shirt. Not to mention the scruffy beard. He looks like he's homeless.
They sit down to chat with the fam and Nick gives his spiel about his love for Kaitlyn. And why he came on the show. And how much of a connection they have.
Is it just me or is anyone else just flat out tired of hearing this guy yammer on? Anyway, Kaitlyn’s mom takes Nick by the ear and drags him outside to talk. No that didn’t really happen, but that’s what she should have done.
She tells him point blank she didn’t care for him or his behavior after Andi’s season. Nick acknowledges his behavior and then goes into his rhetoric again about being there exclusively for Kaitlyn yadda yadda yadda. Then he turns on the waterworks and ends up winning Mrs. Kaitlyn over – or so it seems.
Is there anything else to report about this? I don’t think so. I still can’t get over what a slob Nick looks like.
Meet the Parents Round 2: Shawn
Shawn shows up and not only looks presentable, he brings a little gift for each person there. #winning! Sister Ashley gets a bag of treats for her “two little ones” and declares right there that Shawn gets the win. #foreshadowing! Ashley’s a hoot.
Shawn – that was extremely thoughtful and I hope that was your and not the producer’s idea.
Kaitlyn had prepped the group to expect Shawn to be a little more reserved, however when Shawn got going, he was effusive with his feelings, detailing how the journey was difficult but it was all worth it. He gushed over Kaitlyn, but in an authentic way that was giving the family (and me!) goosebumps. It was adorable from start to finish.
Mrs. Kaitlyn – in full Jackie Collins wear – got her mitts on Shawn and queried him about his jealousy and how he would handle watching the show back. Once again, Shawn knocks it out of the park with his honest answers. Home run pal.
Shawn gets the full blessing of Kaitlyn’s parents and after he leaves, Kaitlyn learns from her sister that Shawn wins the day head and shoulders above Nick. Woot woot!
At this point in the show and the episode, these final dates are just tedious – for the contestants and for us. Nothing new is going to be determined or decided and it’s just a creepy dance of seeing the Bachelorette have to lie to both men – one of which is going to be dumped the very next day. These are the times we are all reminded that this human lab experiment actually contains, like, humans, and it’s sad/disturbing/emotionally draining. I mean, these people know what they are signing up for – but do they really? I guess that’s a rant for another time.
The Final Rose
For the final rose ceremony, we are flying to…nowhere. We are back at the Bachelorette mansion where it all began. What a buzz kill.
Kaitlyn gets gussied up in a beautiful ivory lacy number, Nick squeezes into some tight pants and Shawn slathers some Brylcreem in his ‘do. It’s go time!
The first limo pulls up and I find myself willing it to be Nick. And sure enough, first up is Nick. Bad news dude. First limo is the kiss of death.
And sure enough, Nick is the one to go. You know how we know? Kaitlyn looks like she’s going to be sick, says nothing during his long winded speech, then prevents him from getting down on one knee. It unfortunately takes Nick a second or two to realize what’s going on, then when he does a switch flips, and he’s PISSED. I think this is the first Bach/Bachelorette finale I can remember where the dumpee gives the dumper a piece of his/her mind. He uses the “If you knew you didn’t love me, why did you…?” line on her and gets downright argumentative right there on the platform. “You took things from me” he cries. She tries to make him feel better that she felt love for him in the moments they shared, but he won’t have it. They were “more than just moments” for him. Yikes.
He finally lets her walk him out and gets in the rejection limo only to chuck the Neil Lane ring as well as his Irish Claddaugh ring at the producer in the limo like it’s all rubbish to him now. If this isn’t proof Nick is an immature, impetuous child, I don’t know what is. Be a man dude. Have some class. You – more than anyone – knew the risk you were taking going on this show. Don’t blame Kaitlyn.
Next up is Shawn and he looks great and says great things and you can tell right away Kaitlyn is busting at the seams to tell him she loves him. So they get right to it and he gets on one knee and proposes. It’s all quite lovely (isn’t it always?). Congrats kids!
After the Final Rose
Not much to report about ATFR. Nick minds his manners for the most part. Kaitlyn tries to make him feel better; Nick and Shawn bury the hatchet (not really); Nick talks on and on until Charrison has to cut him off. Pretty standard stuff.
Shawn and Kaitlyn look pretty adorable together and I really hope this one lasts past one season of Dancing with the Stars.
On to Bachelor in Paradise....
P.S. I watched Kaitlyn and Shawn on Jimmy Kimmel Live and learned that yup, they did in fact spoil the show with that rogue Snapchat photo (below) earlier in the year. Apparently they were texting it to a producer (weird?) and Kaitlyn accidentally posted it to Snapchat. ABC was not pleased.