Hang on to your hats: another season of Bachelor in Paradise is almost upon us. As we wind down Season 11 of The Bachelorette next week, we pick right up with a two night premiere of BIP on August 3 and 4. I'm not sure I can handle it, but of course you know I'll be watching.
Here's what you need to know about the Season 2 BIP cast:
Carley, The Bachelor - Season 19 (Chris)
Why you know her: She was the cruise ship singer who fell for Chris but talked smack about all the other girls in the house, most notably Britt. Made it to final 5.
Jillian, The Bachelor - Season 19 (Chris)
Why you know her: Very aggressive and very competitive, Jillian was followed around the entire season by black modesty boxes to cover up her bits and pieces, which hung out of whatever she was wearing.
Clare, The Bachelor - Season 18 (Juan Pablo)
Why you know her: How do you NOT know her?! She made it to Juan Pablo's final two after doing it in the water with him - and being shamed for it - in Vietnam. She was on BIP Season 1 and left single. Poor Clare.
Mikey, The Bachelorette - Season 9 (Desiree)
Why you know him: This hunk o' meat got in some hot water with Desiree when it came out he and James were there "for the wrong reasons" and made plans to score lots of babes on his boat back in Chicago after the show.
Jonathan, The Bachelorette - Season 11 (Kaitlyn)
Why you know him: Besides his flashy wardrobe, we know him as the President of the I Heart Britt fan club.
Tanner, The Bachelorette - Season 11 (Kaitlyn)
Why you know him: Honestly, I still don't know a thing about this guy except he was the one who said it like it was on Kaitlyn's season. He had vocal opinions about Nick, and Clint, and JJ, and Tony...
Kirk, The Bachelorette - Season 6 (Ali)
Why you know him: To be honest, I don't remember much about him. I think he went pretty far on Ali's season. Oh and his dad is a taxidermist.
Ashley S, The Bachelor - Season 19 (Chris)
Why you know her: She was the crazy girl on Chris' season. She said wacky things and scared everyone, including the Bachelor. She's also the one who gave Kaitlyn sage advice about Nick in Bachelorette Season 11.
Ashley I., The Bachelor - Season 19 (Chris)
Why you know her: Epic crier. Epic eyelashes. Virgin. Princess. Nickname is "Kardashley."
Dan, The Bachelorette - Season 9 (Desiree)
Why you know him: You don't.
Juelia, The Bachelor - Season 19 (Chris)
Why you know her: Blonde who told the story of how her husband killed himself, in full detail. Spells her name weird.
Tenley, The Bachelor - Season 14 (Jake)
Why you know her: She made it to the final two of Jake's season, only to be dumped in favor of crazy Vienna. She was also in a steamy relationship with Bachelorette alum Kiptyn that started via Bachelor Pad, but is now single and ready to mingle.
Jared, The Bachelorette - Season 11 (Kaitlyn)
Why you know him: Fresh off heartbreak as guy #4 from Kaitlyn's season. Proved himself to be a real gentleman, but was seriously lacking in the beard cultivation and maintenance department.
JJ, The Bachelorette - Season 11 (Kaitlyn)
Why you know him: Turd from Kaitlyn's season who had a bromance with fellow contestant Clint. Annoyed everyone, including Amy Schumer. Oh and he cheated on his wife.
Jade, The Bachelor - Season 19 (Chris)
Why you know her: Made it to the final 3 in Chris' season. Got dumped right after she revealed she posed for Playboy -- and showed him the pictures.
This is all that ABC has announced so far. They have noted a "mystery woman" on their site and I'm also pretty sure I saw Kentucky Joe from Kaitlyn's season on a promo last night as well so I'm sure there will be a few more surprises to stir shit up.
With no further ado, here is a glimpse at the train wreck coming at us on Aug 3: