Now that was more like it. That's The Bachelorette we know and love. Entertaining, sweet, funny, sappy, dramatic. No violence, no faux gay storylines, no crazy plot twists, no Britt.
We had two really sweet one-on-one dates; one semi-awkward, mildly drama-filled group date that included singing (again); some falling in love talk; a bad hair cut; and a douche with a ginormous ego who wants to go home. Nick was even loose and funny and fun. I'd say that was a successful episode.
Let's break it down:
We start where we left last week: with Nick moving in with the guys. Of course ABC set up the room like Nick was on trial - with all the guys sitting/hovering on a couch on one side of the room and Nick sitting alone on a couch on the opposite side of the room. They all just stared at him for what felt like 10 minutes. High drama.
Nick starts off by trying to explain why he's there and that it's not to disrespect them, but to explore his feelings for Kaitlyn. The guys pepper him with questions: some about being there for the wrong reasons, some even about Andi Dorfman (who apparently he saw and patched things up with). Nick holds his own pretty well and keeps the smirking to a minimum, even with a VERY hostile Josh taunting him.
It will all be fine guys; you must chill.
Since there are no rules this season we still have to do a rose ceremony even though it's the top of the episode. For this we go to Citi Field, home of the NY Mets.
The cocktail party begins and JJ grabs Miss K right "off the bat" (hehe) to take her on the field and carry her around the horn. Cute idea, but in reality, seems a little awkward. The other guys seem bummed they didn't think of it first.
For the rose ceremony, the guys must stand in the middle of the diamond in no coats. Several of them look like they have legit icicles forming on their noses. Kaitlyn gives out all the roses but one...and then slowly and dramatically calls Nick's name. Psych! Sorry guys, Nick will be staying put.
Off with Jonathan, Ryan B and Corey. Bye bye fellas.
The rest of us are off to....the exotic locale of San Antonio, Texas!
What? I thought Charrison said we were traveling the world! Speaking of Charrison, where the heck has he been hiding? We don't have rose ceremonies and we don't ever see Charrison? What is becoming of this show????
First one-on-one date: Ben H
Kaitlyn picks up Ben H in an old timey pick-up truck and of course, she drives (love that!). They end up at a dance hall where surprise - they are going to be dancing!
Here's a list of the dates that have happened so far this season:
- Fighting (boxing)
- Fighting (Sumo wrestling)
- Performing (stand up comedy)
- Performing (rapping)
- Performing (Broadway singing and dancing)
- Performing (two-step dancing)
- Performing (Mariachi singing) (coming up later)
No wonder these guys are so wound up. They are being humiliated at every turn. Some (as we will see later) don't handle it so well.
Anyway back to Ben H. - who is a super adorable, tall drink of water - as we see here:
Is the date boring? Maybe a little. But that my friends is real life and one of the only times I still like this show. It was authentic.
Kaitlyn makes Ben "let his guard down" and after a huge build up he tells us (I mean Kaitlyn) his big secret is "he lost the chase" for his ex girlfriend. Not only do I not really get what that means, but it doesn't really sound unusual or in the least bit controversial at all. Shit happens. Fake drama.
Anyway, they kiss a bunch and I think these two really like each other. Do I think Ben H is the perfect match for her? I'm not sure. But Ben H is fabulous so I hope he sticks around a while.
This one includes Josh, Ben Z, Kentucky Joe, Tanner, Ian, Chris, JJ, Jared, Justin and Nick. They are going to learn how to sing Mariachi! And of course, there's a corresponding outfit to complete the humiliation:
The biggest pieces of info coming out of this date:
1. Nick isn't afraid to take the bull by the horns to impress/stand out to Kaitlyn, regardless of how the other guys feel about him. And after his personal serenade to K on the balcony (complete with the word "erection" thrown in), he actually gets props from the other guys for putting himself out there.
2. Ian. Oh, Ian. Ian who claims to be a singer and a natural performer. He beats himself up for choking on the Broadway date and vows to make it up on the Mariachi song. But alas, he sucks yet again and gasps out his song like a baby bird. Awkward.
3. At the cocktail party, Josh not only gets a horrible haircut from Kaitlyn (this was the weirdest idea ever BTW), but he gets additional one-on-one time with her to throw Nick under the bus for being shady (he used his "guy's intuition" which isn't a thing) and the other guys under the bus for also hating Nick. He then gets back to the party, lies to the guys about where he's been, then gets promptly outed by Kaitlyn for telling her stories about the other guys that the guys don't seem to be saying to her face. Was that the quickest way to sum that up or what?! Anyway, the guys don't say a peep and Josh looks like a liar. So now he's got bad hair AND bad prospects for sticking around past this week.
Second one-on-one date: Shawn
For Kaitlyn's second one-on-one date, she takes Shawn to San Antonio's Riverwalk to a set of kayaks. They are going to do something that "no one ever gets to do" (is that because the river is gross, perhaps?): kayak through the Riverwalk. This is another good one-on-one date idea though - I like that they are focused on a task but get to talk and work together at the same time.
They get to the end and probably kiss a bunch (I can't remember any more) then head to dinner. Fast forward to Shawn's big reveal which is that he had a near death experience and was in the hospital for months following a bad car crash. He is moved to tears describing how lucky he is to have survived to be there in that moment with her (awwww).
OK drop the mic - I think we have our winner.
Oh, we have to keep going?
So they hug and kiss a bunch and he tells Kaitlyn he is falling in love with her. Wow. Then she says it back! Double wow.
I am verklempt.
Then they hop in a canoe (??) and suddenly the sky explodes with fireworks. Neato! I love me some fireworks while floating in a canoe with a hot dude (#bucketlist).
After taking Jared to her room and laying him down on a bed of roses to make out with him (seriously), we move on to Ian.
Ian is done with this shit my friends. He's tired of being ignored. He's a catch - both in the U.S. and in the WORLD. He gets all the sex he wants in his real life. This of course means he must now tell Kaitlyn off - because she must suck if they have no connection, what with him being such totally awesome Bachelor-level material and all.
So under the guise of "being honest," he does just that: he tells her right off. He also:
- Slut-shames her,
- Tells her she's shallow,
- Accuses her of being there just to "kiss a bunch of guys on TV," and
- Questions her intentions with Nick.
Kaitlyn's face during this bullshit says it all:
So Ian, I'm not so sure I would call this "honesty" my friend. Honesty would be saying "Listen Kaitlyn, I think I'm going to send myself home. It doesn't seem like we have the same connection you have with some other guys and I don't want to waste your or my time any longer. So I think you are great, but I'm going to go."
Instead he projects his bruised ego onto her as if it is her flaws/shadiness/bad intentions/boring personality that are causing him to leave. So not only is he lying, but he's disrespecting this woman and making himself look like an asshole -- all on National TV. Nice job dude.
To be continued......
See ya next week!
P.S. Here's a pic of Charrison so you don't forget what he looks like: