I can't believe we've come to The Bachelor's Women Tell All (WTA) episode already. Seems like I was just complaining about there being 15 ladies left annoying the shit out of me. But alas, here we are. Another chapter of The Bachelor closing and the final act soon to be played out.
This season's WTA was much like those in the past, even though Charrison continues to tell us it's the "most dramatic season" like, ever. OK maybe there is one exception from shows past: the obscene amounts of crying. I don't think I recall a chick crying (or pretend crying) throughout the entire special. And it wasn't necessarily over the Bachelor; it was over Carly! Carly betrayed Britt and that's what she just can't get over.
Because there's no friend like the friends you meet on a reality dating show where you are all competing for the same guy!
Nothing else really stood out to me and I don't think we learned anything new. Let's take each girl one at a time:
1) Britt. If anyone was unsure of Britt's intentions, I think she sealed the deal tonight. This girl is looking for her big break: whether it's as The Bachelorette, on Days of Our Lives or in a shoddy B movie shot in the basement of some dude's house in East L.A.
I don't buy her tears for a second. She's crying because she was outed as a fraud. She's crying because she lost. She's crying because she's the prettiest and always gets what she wants. She's crying because she thought she was in control of Chris and of the other girls. And she wasn't. Boo hoo.
Fuck that. Was Carly a little catty? Perhaps. Did she pretend to like Britt in the house to get more good info? Probably. But I still don't care. Britt is so arrogant she seriously thinks Carly was the only reason she didn't get Chris as her prize.
And of cooooooourse she went up on stage, hugged Chris for 10 minutes and then rubbed his knee the whole time she was blubbering to him.
[Sidebar: Charrison telling Jillian "you're a little jacked up" when she was aggressively defending Britt was probably the best part of the show. That girl is totally on HGH.]
2) Kelsey was...Kelsey. She remains condescending and all the girls still hate her. I'm bored with her. The one thing that I wanted to see more of during Kelsey's segment was Samantha. I've read online that Samantha also had a tragic story that was never brought to light on the show (because she kept it private perhaps? What a novel idea). The fact that other girls called her "Sammy" makes me think we missed out on getting to know a sweet girl in lieu of seeing crazy antics of the Ashleys and Kelsey. Plus she's freakin' gorgeous.
3) Ashley S. After her sit down with Charrison, I tend to think Ashley is just a ham. She knows she was acting wiggy and perhaps she came on the show just to make fun of it all. I don't think we got to know her true personality and perhaps that act is HER defense mechanism. She's obviously a beautiful girl. I would love to see her go on Bachelor in Paradise and actually take advantage of the opportunity.
4) Jade. Jade shared how hurt she was that Chris said one thing to her face (I didn't let you go because you posed in Playboy) and another thing in his People blog (Looking at those Playboy pics was muy awkward.) She also was upset that he said he was "disturbed" that she was a shy small town girl with him and a "wild mustang" with everyone else. Um, yeah, I can see why she was upset, but girl, you were acting pretty cagey. Jade got her chance to confront Chris face to face; she cried and he fumbled through an apology. Awkward!!
5) Kaitlyn. After a season watching Kaitlyn joke and entertain everyone, including Chris, it kinda broke my heart how raw and honest and legitimately sad she was. She's one of the most real contestants who has ever been on this show and she dropped it off to us in plain language: she was sure he was picking her and when he didn't she was blindsided. Why didn't he give her the wink and the head's up ahead of time that it was her time to go? Great question Kaitlyn.
Chris' answer: he wasn't sure who he was going to send home. He thought it was going to be Becca then got what he was looking for from her. That tells me Kaitlyn still wasn't in the running for first choice.
But anyway, I really just plain like this girl. I like her honesty. I like how she carries herself. I like her sense of humor. In some ways I am dying for her to be the next Bachelorette (which she has said she'd be open to); in other ways I want her to run like bears are chasing her away from this shitshow.
6) Charrison. Who knew Charrison was a romance novelist? When does he have the time? This will totally be my summer read. I'll write a book report for y'all when I'm done.
What was missing
I was surprised they didn't chat with Jillian about her censor strip; to Jordan or Tara about their drunken antics; or Ashley about her crying. They spent way too much time on Ashely S and Kelsey -- both up there because they brought ABC some ratings. Boo.
And was it just me, or do they usually do a dramatic "Who will The Bachelor pick??!! Lady 1 or Lady 2!" with a vignette of each of their "relationships?" Did something go awry in Iowa????
All in all, a relatively uneventful WTA special. Nothing like the last season of The Bachelorette, where we saw Charrison deliver a mysterious letter to Andi backstage. Some girls were sad; some girls were angry, but overall, nothing to write home about.
On to the final rose! Who doesn't think at this point that the final rose will go to Whitney?? Or did he ditch both Whit and Becca and get with Carly? They looked pretty chummy at the end of WTA........just sayin'.
See you next week!