Let's set the scene for what all of Bachelorette Nation was involved in last night:
- Viewing party with friends. Check!
- Tasty dinner and/or treats. Check!
- Snarky commentary. Check!
- Pre-recorded so you can FFWD. Check!
- Wine. Check, check!
There are many, many things that are wrong with ABC's The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. The fact that it even exists could be number one. I won't go into all that, especially since I do enjoy watching it, except to say: the overall design of the show requires the Bachelorette to string along all the guys throughout the course of the show to create drama for the viewer. Of course, I'm sure there are more telling "scenes" between the Bach and the object of their true affection that ABC just weeds out; but right until the end, the Bach has to "pretend" she's in love with two dudes. We saw it with our own eyes. I was pretty convinced she was going to pick Josh (did you notice how many times she called him "babe?"), but there were still pretty big signs she was giving Nick to make him feel comfortable she was choosing him. That, my friends, is where the Bach must operate according to the story line of this show and that's where we go from "these are real people with real feelings" to "this show needs viewers and ratings and you have to play your part." And that is the rub. Real people getting caught up in a TV show and being spit out the other side for the mere entertainment of the rest of us. It's a game show and it's disturbing.
And I will continue to watch every time.
Do I feel bad for the runner up? Sure. But you signed up for this nonsense. You'll land on your feet.
Anyway, I am not going to recap this entire episode; I'll stick to the highlights. It was all pretty standard.
The final day:
- Andi's outfits for her last two dates were awful. A muumuu and then PJ shorts? And the negligee?
- Josh's outfits weren't any better. Could he have unbuttoned his shirt more when he met Andi's family? Could he be wearing more friendship bracelets? What was with that tank top?
- That Hy Dorfman is a tough cookie. I couldn't get a sense if he liked either of those guys! I did get the impression that the mom and the sister liked Nick more though.
- I felt Andi's body language toward Josh on their last date was pretty telling. Couple that with all the times she called him "babe" and it was a foregone.
- I'm so glad she decided to go talk to Nick prior to him picking out rings and going through with the rose ceremony. It's such a more humane way to get rid of the final suitor. I'm glad ABC allows this.
- The disappointment on Nick's face was real and it was sad. He fell hard for her, and it will take him awhile to get over it (as we will see first hand later in the show). Guess maybe he shouldn't have been so cocky after all, eh?
- Andi seemed less weepy when she dumped Nick than she was with previous guys (see Chris, Marcus), which I thought was interesting. Was it the fact that she was finally all in with Josh and that made it easier for her to be strong with her decision and not let Nick talk her out of it?
- Josh needs to invest in a new suit. That thing had to have been cutting off his circulation! Andi looked pretty but her hair was a little bouffant-y again.
- Who do you think were in those boats that were sailing by? I bet one of them contained Reality Steve.
- Was Josh reading his speech to Andi off cue cards? It was so long and specific!
- These two do seem pretty happy. They look like brother and sister, but they obviously have good chemistry and neither of them has to move, which is a bonus.
- I really think Nick was too intense for her. She always seemed to skew toward the guys who displayed true "manly" qualities, like Josh. Nick's journaling and poems were just too much. Andi is a jock. She's an attorney. She's not touch-y feel-y. She wants to play baseball, shoot guns and throw the pigskin around with the fellas. It's all so clear now.
After the Final Rose:
- This was a doozy. Nick's a mess.
- I want to know more about this trip to Mexico that Andi was on when Nick tried to see her. Which leads to another question: why didn't Nick request to see Andi while they were still in the Dominican Republic? I think we know from past seasons that all three remain there for a day or two after filming ends. If Nick tried to talk to her again in DR and was rebuffed at that point, and then tried to talk to her on this Mexico trip, and then showed up at Men Tell All, and then wrote that letter, and then outed Andi as a ho on live TV, I think we call can safely call that duck a stalker.
- If Andi claimed to Josh "I've loved you since the first moment I laid eyes on you," why then did she sleep with Nick?? That's the million dollar question!
- Did everyone watching the show choke on their wine when Nick said that?? We had to rewind it three times to make sure we heard it correctly! Most dramatic After the Final Rose EVER! Well, besides the time Mesnick switched girls, of course.
- Charrison is loving this. If he can't have Andi, next best thing for him is some amaaaaaazing (DRINK!) and dramatic confrontations on ATFR.
- I'm annoyed they totally teased that we would find out who would be the next Bachelor, and then didn't tell us. I heard a rumor they aren't announcing it until after "Bachelor in Paradise" finishes airing. Drat! I'm convinced Farmer Chris is the pick anyway. No way he would turn that opportunity down.
- Congrats Andi and Josh. You guys are obviously smitten kittens. Hope we see you around town!
(I'm intentionally ignoring the Grumpy Cat bit. You're welcome.)
Thanks for reading! xo